What are some funny and smart quotes?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

How do I study with focus and concentration and avoid distractions and procrastination?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

If Russia needs the resources to fund the war in Ukraine, why doesn’t it throw open its doors to visa free western tourism? Enough people would be interested, & it would start to get some hard currency as €, CHF, £, SEK, $, JPY in the tills at shops.

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

I like this guy and his personality is AMAZING. He’s everything I want EXCEPT I’m not 100% attracted to him. I’ve dated some really hot guys and I’m wondering if that’s ruined dating for me? What do I do?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”